Victorious Christian Teen-agers

Written in April 2015 (The perspective of a 23 yr. old single man.)

Exceptions can be applied to most of the thoughts in this article due to different situations, environments, and personalities. You may want to read this as suggestions rather than guidelines.

For Teens

How to be a Victorious teenager

• Choose if you are going to serve God or self, then put all your energies into doing so. If you put all your effort into serving God, He will become a close friend and faithful helper of yours and will stand by you and guide you through the decisions of life. Whereas if you serve yourself, you will have no guide and your own judgments will let you down. You will likely find yourself headlong in the rocks. Living for self will not bring stable satisfaction.

• Remain as far away from Satan and his devices as you can, because Satan has a way of grabbing people by the wrists and dragging them across the rocks of sin like a gunnysack full of dead chickens. To avoid this treatment, you will need to seek refuge in Jesus Christ and remain in his territories.

• Sin is like quicksand, it can look innocent and enjoyable, but in reality, it will slowly pull its victim under until they finally die.

• Sin is also comparable to discovering, while enjoying an airborne sensation in a car, that you just cleared a hairpin turn, and that your landing pad is a going to be 1,000 rocks on a steep slope. So, if you do not want to experience these pains than do not even consider playing with sin. If you are a teenager looking for fun and a joy ride and if you chose to follow the main stream instead of standing for what is right, then you are a candidate for experiencing the above illustration. And remember, you may not come out alive.

• Satan is like many dogs, he has no depth of character. He likes to shove, lure, or lead people to wherever he wants them to go. However, if you stand up to him with your hands on your hips he will shake in his shoes, although he may be persistent, he really is uncomfortable around people that do not respect him. So don’t let Satan push you around, just stand your ground, let him know you are not about to let him control your life. “Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” (James 4:7)

This does not mean you can learn to control Satan to the extent that you will never sin again. And withstanding Satan is going to take courage and persevering that only God can provide. Satan hates any sign of God, therefore, he hates looking on people that have a godly character. He will never give up and will be on you case the full extent of you physical life.

• When making decisions, look at the long-term effect your decision will have. Ask for advice, and then be willing to accept it.

• Be a good example for other youth. Your example will have a much bigger impact on them than that of someone older.

• Find good companions; do not associate with youth of low character.

• Pray. Tell God about your problems and all those little details that bother you. He understands, and He cares about the little details; you will be surprised how much better you will feel after talking to God about it.

• To be a victorious master over your life, you need to exercise daily personal devotions. (Especially over the age of 15.) This could include reading a devotional from a sound prescription devotional booklet like “Besides the Still Waters,” or “Daily Manna for the Soul.” Or, maybe a devotional book like “Daily truth for Godly Youth” by Howard Bean.  (You should also read the scripture that goes with each day’s article.)

Another good option could be read about 20 or 30 verses in the Bible every day and think over what it might be trying to say. In the past, I have personally let my Bible randomly fall open and I read wherever my eyes landed first. This was quite an experience; it soon became obvious to me that God was controlling where I read.

• Limit how much you listen to music. Youth that listen to music a lot, are soon expanding their music taste because they got tired of what they were listening too. Sound music can have a great bonding affect and bring a measure of peace to any situation. However, do not indulge in folk and country music and do not let yourself into contemporary styled music. These kinds of music you might well enjoy, but if you listen to them, you will soon prefer them to sound gospel. These types of music will create a longing for more instead of peace within.

In every situation, choose singing yourself (vocally) over recorded music. Also, if you are going to listening to recorded music, sing along with it when possible and do take in what the words are trying to tell you. Not only do they bring meaning to the song, but listening to the words can have a way of making the singing so much more worthwhile.

• Go to bed early and get out of bed early. I know, it is hard to do and it may conflict with yours or your parent’s schedule, however, I venture to say you will be happier and feel better throughout the day if you get up early.

How to deal with parents

• Open up to your parents.

• Remember, your parents are not perfect; they do make mistakes. If your parent’s weaknesses bother you, kindly approach them about it, and if they do not seem to understand or don’t want to listen at least you did your part. Try thinking of their good points so their weak points are not so burdensome to you.

• Do not argue with your parents. It is all right to calmly reason with them if you feel they are making an unwise choice, but avoid loud quarrels.

• Show a deep respect for your parents. Allow them to be in charge, and do what they ask without goofing off.

• Do things the way your parents want them done. My Dad would say, “If you are asked to plant the cabbages upside down; then plant the cabbages upside down.” Of course, if what your parents tell you to do is not according to what the Bible says, then you should stand your ground and not do it. Also, do not be afraid to discuss things with your parents if you feel they could be doing things more efficiently. (That is, if your parents are willing to talk about it.)

• Tell your parents you appreciate what they do for you or just let them know you enjoy their presence, it will do wonders for your relationship with them. For example, “You know Dad, every time it thunderstorms, it reminds me of the times we would stand on the front porch together and watch the storm.”

For Parents, and any other authority over teens

Traits of a Teen

• In your mind, picture yourself standing at the top of a steep, wide staircase, with no handrail or anything else to hold on too. Now picture yourself walking down these stairs while being dizzy. This can describes teens. Teens need a strong hand in their life; they need a handrail that does not move.

• If you guide teens correctly, they have tremendous potential for good. They also have tremendous potential for evil, do not put anything past them.

How to raise stable teens

• To raise Christian teens successfully, it is important for parents to maintain a close relationship with God, (to read and meditate on God’s Word daily, and spend lots of time in prayer.) This is essential to raising youth. In addition, where else are your youth going to learn to have a close relationship with God?

• Be very firm with your teens, and DO NOT give in to their whims. When someone leans on a railing, they certainly would be disappointed if it decided to give in to the pressure and collapse. In the same way, your youth need to feel that no matter how hard they abuses authority you will not give in. On the other hand you need to be gentle, tell them calmly, kindly, lovingly, yet firmly were the line stands.

• Teens generally are not stable enough to deal with gray areas (where it is not certain whether it is all right to do it or not.) Make their bounds as black and white as you can.

• To handle teens successfully one must be genuine, consistent and understanding.

• Communicate! Communication is vital. You must talk things over! Give your teens a chance to talk to you if they want to. There should be no reason for your youth to feel uncomfortable talking with you or being in your presence.

• Teach your youth music and help them to enjoy singing. Sound music can have a great bonding affect and bring a measure of peace to any situation. However, do not teach them folk and country songs and do not introduce them to contemporary styled music. These kinds of music your teens will enjoy, but they will soon to prefer them to sound gospel. These types of music will create a longing for more instead of peace within.

In every situation, choose singing yourselves (vocally) over recorded music.

• Teens are exceedingly sharp, if you are trying to hide some fault or secret sin from your teens, give up, they probable already know. Instead, admit your faults to them. It will strengthen your relationship and help them to trust you farther with your advice. Your teens will not have respect for you, if they see weakness in you that you are not willing to admit to.

• Keep your youth occupied with healthy activities. Allow minimal time for them to be alone with nothing to do.

• Teenagers need a lot of work to keep their mind sufficiently occupied. It is also essential for them to have a healthy, Christian work environment, preferably with their parents, (especially below the age of 17.) Many youth were first introduced to the downward road while in the workplace. In addition, countless youth started doing things behind their parents back while they were on the job. Watch your teens very closely the first years they work away from home.

• Children should have limited access to cell phones, computers, and other electronic devices, at least till they’re 16. Even then, they should be monitored closely. Any form of electronic entertainment should be minimal, including computer games and all other electronic games. A few reasons is: it can be very addictive, it is rarely up building, (by a Christians viewpoint) and can take lots of time from socializing. Children should be interacting with siblings or parents, instead of computers. It also is very easy to waste a lot of time on computers, without getting anything worthwhile done. The electronic world is an obvious snare that Satan is using, very successful, to lure people away from far more important things. I personally have had a computer all to myself (for writing purposes) since the age of 16, and I consider it a social, spiritual, physical and mental curse that God has chosen for me to endure.

• Never, put anything past your teens. Teens have a lot of potential to do things behind their parents back. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t trust them, but do keep your eyes open. There has been many accounts in which teens were caught red-handed at being involve in gross sin, but when the parents were told; their response was “My child would never do anything like that!”

• Teens will accept almost anything from people they admire. They also tend to turnout a lot like their peers. Therefore, it is important to keep them in good company so they do not pick up peers of bad influence.

• Be a good example to your teens. Show a high level of respect for the church, school, government, and other people. The way you live goes a long way in cultivating convictions in your children. The inconsistency among many Christians today, is really confusing our youth and is playing a big part in their rejection of Christian principles. Teens often have a good idea were Christians are supposed to stand, (although they do not always show it,) and it is very confusing to them when they see adults that are professing Christianity, but are not living up to it. In a church setting, when youth see so many people trying to get out around church guidelines, they tend to think, “If that is how it is, why would I want to be a part of it?” Please, do not let your youth down by living an inconsistent lifestyle.

• Teens can be very sensitive when it comes to sharing their private affairs. Do not try to pry it out of them; they will likely just clam up tighter. Let them chose who they want to confide in, (of course with a grain of salt.)

• Pray audibly for your children, pray with them, and pray for the wisdom to handle them correctly. Have a family devotion and study the bible together.

• Show them love. Do not leave them guessing whether you love them or care about their wellbeing. Love them for whom they are, not for how much they can accomplish. Sometimes a short prayerfully written note of encouragement will mean much more to a sensitive teen then a lot of verbal words.

• Teens will usually appreciate clear direction from others, even though they likely will not let it show.

• Exercise a daily family devotion. This could include reading from a Bible Story Book or about 30 verses in the Bible. It could also be a good idea to have a group discussion about what was read.

• Older teens need to exercise daily personal devotions along with participating in the family devotion. This could include reading a devotional from a sound subscription devotional booklet like “Besides the Still Waters,” or “Daily Manna for the Soul.” Or, maybe a devotional book like “Daily truth for Godly Youth” by Howard Bean.

 Another good option could be read about 20 or 30 verses in the Bible every day and think over what it might be trying to say.

Helping your teens build self-worth

• Teens need to feel a level of self-worth. Too many youth sense that the adults around them think they don’t know anything. Do not let this happen. This can lead them to think that the only thing they are worth is physical labor. (And perhaps that is what some parents think.)

• Spent lots of time with your youth. Maintain a close personal relationship with them. Most youth who are miserably failing, do not have a close relationship with godly parents.

• Take time to listen to what your youth have to say. If your teens want to talk to you, drop everything you are doing and give them all your attention. Do not give them room to think they are not worth listening to. Try to understand their viewpoints and do not be critical.

• Make them feel included in major decision-making. Listen to their opinions. Teens can be a remarkable source of ideas if you give them the chance.

• If your teens go away, you ought to know where they are going and what they are doing. Do not allow room for them to think that their parents do not care what they do.

• Be quick to apologize to your teens; it will do wonders to your relationship. Keep your apologies humble and sincere. Forced and repeated apologies with no noticeable effort on your part to change, will rapidly sour a relationship rather than build it.

• When your teens make a mistake, kindly tell them where they erred. Keep the reproof short and do not raise your voice; that only helps them to resent you. • Praise their efforts, thank them every chance you get. Let them know you appreciate the good they do.